One of the highlights of my highlit job is getting to open the album when it first arrives from the record label company people. They send it on a special big brown bus like thing that’s called Untied Parcel Service. It’s very VERY glamorous.
There’s nothing like the smell of the vinyl as it wafts through the cigarette smoke in my office. I love it. Check out me opening SLT’s new album…
The key to putting together a best-selling album is not the music, nobody really gives a shit about that in the long run. What matters is the album cover, baby, THE ALBUM COVER!! I went by SF Artist Blair Bradshaw‘s studio to see what he was thinking about for the upcoming Sonic Love Tonic album. Sometimes you gotta stoop down to the level of these artsy fartsy types in order to put together a kick-ass rock and roll album cover…
There’s nothing more exciting than getting to hear the final mix of your band’s album for the first time. I like to get a little drinky drinky on, settle down in a nice soft leather couch at the studio, and let the rhythms just ooze on over me. It’s fucking great to hear all of their hard work come blasting out of those speakers, heavy bass and high hats hitting like there’s no fucking tomorrow. Or it can also go down like this…
One of the most important things about being a band manager is getting all the crackheads together to discuss things and stuff. And things. In preparation for the upcoming album, I called a band meeting last week and, well, let’s just say it didn’t exactly go quite as I had planned.
And don’t forget that Battle of the Bands starring Sonic Love Tonic takes place this Friday… You should be there, dammit. find out what you need to know here.
Even when you get a hold of a good solid band, they still gotta practice a little bit every now and then. Or in the case of Sonic Love Tonic, you gotta let the guys get together in a storage unit in some sorta big warehouse with pot smoke-filled hallway after pot smoke-filled hallway of even more crappy little storage units – so that they can bang on their pots and pans and scream a little bit. It’s good for the (what we say in the business) conductivitosity of the gang.
They hold their own down there, pretty much, but every now and then I gotta check in on them and give ‘em a few pointers. You know how it is.
That’s right, people, I had to sleep with a few people to get this to happen, of course, but my band Sonic Love Tonic won the last segment of Battle of the Bands and is now moving on the the finals. The finals, people, the FINALS!! If they win there, they go on to Hollywood and then Germany (which is way over there in Europe, just so you know) and then I get a pile of money and I can retire. After i share a little bit with the boys, of course…
Anyhow, I need your help once again in order for me… I mean them… to win. You need to buy a $15 ticket for the show, which is on July 10 at Mighty in San Francisco. You can talk to me or one of the members in the band or go to this page on MySpacebook and find out all the details…
Here’s a little video reminder for those of you who have trouble with the big words I use:
I tell you this, good limes and Austin are like farts and church: the two just don’t mix. Everywhere you go down there people are trying to feed you queso and pour a bunch of “dressed” shots of tequila down your troats. I wouldn’t have a problem with that if the damn limes had a little bit of juice in ‘em and weren’t as dry as a sponge left out in the sun for two days after a Girl Scout car wash, if you know what I mean…
All right, so every now and then a good band manager has to put his boys in front of the press and let them sit down poolside and do an interview together. It’s a good idea if you stand around as much as possible and try to make sure that the boys don’t start talking a bunch of bulloney either. Or crap. No nonsense, no crap, no bulloney…
Whateva, it’s good to let the camera lenses and microphones in every now and then so that word can start to germinate and inseminate in the masses. And that’s important when your band has an album coming out called Never Ever … Were… Was… or some shit like that.
I need a cocktail. Just watch this:
Aight, so here’s a little clip of me trying to explain to the lead singer of Sonic Love Tonic about how you go about talking to chicks on the road. It’s important stuff, knowing how to talk to chicks on the road. Yeah, okay, it’s all about the rock and roll, but the chicks, well, yeah it’s about them too.
And beer. Beer is also good. It’s also about the beer.
Sonic Love Tonic is in Battle of the Bands Round 2 Friday May 1st. That means get off your lazy asses and get over there!
The band plays for 30 about minutes (about 6 songs) starting at 8pm, or until I tell them to stop. There are eight bands and SLT sucks the least, so you gotta see this to believe it. Round 2, like the first round, is basically a popularity contest so I need you to come. Every fifth person in attendance will receive a brand new Dodge Dart. Ask for Lonnie, he’ll set you up with that shit.
You can hang out with me and the girls afterward and buy us drinks or move on to your next event of the evening in plenty of time. Just beware I’ll be taking notes about who does what. I’ll be calling roll as usual. Checkmarks will be given. Don’t fuck up.
If my announcement video is not showing up on your 8-track player, click here to watch it on Utubes.
Tickets are $10 if you get them in advance. $15 at the door. Worth every freakin’ penny.
The drinks that you’ll be buying for me range from $6 to $15, so plan accordingly.
Rock It Room
406 Clement Street, San Francisco
8pm (but come a little bit earlier if possible)
rock and roll, baby… ROCK AND ROLL!
jonny love hammersmith
 | Ted Rheingold on Artsy Fartsy |
 | ben campbell on The Album Arrives |
 | Truck Boy on Artsy Fartsy |
| Band Meeting « on Sonic Love Tonic On the Way to… | |
 | Tommy Lee on Big Nite Out |
